Onomatopoeia Magazine Update

If you've been here before you will notice that things are changing around here. We're going to relaunch in January 2011 with a more frequent publishing schedule. In the meantime, click HERE to submit your work.

Onomatopoeia Magazine SUMMER 2010 Issue

Click HERE to view and download the SUMMER 2010 issue. Courtesy of issuu.com

CONTENTS

FICTION
The Things We Keep by Liane Kupferberg Carter
Young Man with a Moustache by Jeffery Ryan Long 
Scent on a Mission by Margaret Eaton
Darkness and Storm by Barrie Darke 
Dwight Goes to Rehab by Michael Frissore

POETRY
1001/1011 by Thomas Reed
Death Before Factory by Anthony Liccione
Black Seed by Black Seed by Donal Mahoney
Caseworker Takes Notes by Donal Mahoney

WHATNOT
Straight From an Agent - Nathan Bransford, literary agent/author/blogger interviewed by Bobby D. Lux
All the Pretty Horses Photo by Christopher Woods 
The Fortune Teller Is On A Break Photo by Christopher Woods
Solve the Equation Art by Todd R. Behrendt

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
     I'll be honest, a part of me feared that Onomatopoeia would be a one-and-done project. Fortunately, I had a bit of luck and good fortune on my side. The SPRING issue found a bit of an audience and I received far more submissions (good ones too!) for the SUMMER issue than expected, so now I have to keep this going because the FALL 2010 issue is already being constructed... at least until a large multi-national media conglomerate comes knocking with their million dollar offer for the website.
    In actual Onomatopoeia news, Jara Jones has graciously come on board as the Poetry Editor and will begin working on the FALL 2010 issue. I will make one promise that we will have a podcast up and running before the next issue. I will also promise that I will do my best to figure out how to make Onomatopoeia available as a free e-book for you kids with your fancy Kindles and stuff.
     That's it for now. See you in September.

     Bobby D. Lux
     Editor-in-Chief
     Onomatopoeia Magazine

Nathan Bransford, literary agent, interviewed by Bobby D. Lux

“…remember that the only way to write a novel is to sit down and write it and keep going even when you would rather be doing anything other than writing.”


Straight From an Agent
Nathan Bransford, Literary Agent, Curtis Brown Ltd.
as interviewed by Bobby D. Lux

     Of all the tremendous resources available to writers on the Internet these days, for my money (of which I have very little, for the record), the most invaluable is the access to daily interactions with literary agents. Nathan Bransford, an agent based out of the San Francisco offices of Curtis Brown Ltd., is perhaps the most accessible of all the literary agents who have embraced an online presence. During any given week, the thousands of visitors to his daily blog, www.nathanbransford.com, are provided with a front row seat to the ins and outs of the publishing world from a perspective and insight that has rarely been available to them before. And if they’re lucky, Bransford, an author himself, will gladly critique their work for them [HINT: Get there early on Mondays]. If that’s not enough, he’ll answer specific questions directly on his forum about all things publishing, querying, and even LOST (Requiescant in pace).

     Can you discuss your evolution in becoming a writer/agent/blogger?
     When I graduated from college I knew I wanted to work in publishing, and my first job was assistant to the president of Curtis Brown, an incredible agent and mentor. That set me on the long apprenticeship to becoming an agent. When I was beginning to take on clients and starting to build my list at the end of 2006, because it’s so difficult to get established I wanted to set myself apart from other agents out there by building a web presence and try and help out people who were seeking publication. At that time there were a few blogging agents, but for the most part the industry hadn’t yet really embraced the Internet and especially social networking. So I started blogging, at first on MySpace (how 2006 was that?) and then over at Blogger. It’s been immensely rewarding, and I couldn’t have imagined at the time the extent to which it would be integral to building my client list.
     When I set out to be an agent I honestly never really thought I’d end up writing – I thought maybe I’d write a screenplay one day, but eventually I decided to try writing a novel. My first attempt crashed and burned, but I ended up having a new idea that I was excited about and I wrote another novel around the end of 2008 and beginning of 2009. That became JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW, and I was fortunate enough to find an agent and publisher. It will come out next year.

     As an agent, what do you for look for in a writer? Is this different from what you look for as a reader?
     I’m a generalist both as a reader and an agent, and read just about anything. I’m drawn to compelling plots, unique voices, and I’m not a trend follower at all. I’m always looking for stories that are just brilliantly told regardless of what the market is doing. My essential feeling is that you can’t start a new trend if you’re always chasing the ones that are already “hot.”
     The one main difference is that as an agent I’m looking for writers who think of themselves as more than just a writer and are willing to go the extra mile with publicity, building an online presence, and doing everything they can to help themselves stand out. As I’m sure you’ve heard the publishing industry is going through a period of transition and turmoil, and authors who are willing to embrace the business and publicity end of writing have a better shot at making their work stand out in this competitive landscape than those who think of themselves as just a writer.

     What is your favorite part of being a writer? An agent? A blogger?
     As a writer, it’s just so fun to create worlds and put your characters in tricky situations, and when you’re finished with a novel, no matter what happens with it it’s something you can look back on and be proud of. It’s hard work and I’m not one of those people who always finds writing fun (and I’ll admit that I’m a little suspicious of those who do), but there’s really nothing else like it.
     The best part of being an agent is helping make writers’ dreams come true and seeing a project go from a brief description in a query to something that is sitting on shelves and out there for readers to love. It’s often a frustrating (and very long) process, but when everything comes together it’s immensely rewarding.
     And my favorite part of blogging is the instant feedback and the dialogue with readers. I’ve learned an incredible amount from my readers, and I’m eternally grateful to the people who participate and leave comments and participate in the blogging community.
    
     How does being an agent inform you as a writer? How does being a writer inform you as an agent?
     In the course of my job I’m reading all the time, and since I’m a hands-on agent I have to think very critically about what is and isn’t working in a manuscript and be able to articulate that to an author. While it’s much harder to be self-critical of your own work, it’s been very helpful to think about structure and why certain elements work and others don’t and forgetting what I learned in college about approaching books in terms of what they mean and instead every day asking the question, “Is this good? Will this appeal to readers?”
     And as an agent, being a writer has made me much more sympathetic to just how difficult the process is, how it feels to be an author waiting for news for a really long time and how it can render you temporarily insane. I think it’s cemented my respect for always trying to help an author achieve their vision.

     What's the worst part of being an agent? What's the best?
     The worst part is the waiting. The best part is when the wait is over.

     Play Nostradamus if you will... Where do you see the publishing industry heading in the next several years?
     The publishing industry is currently undergoing a huge amount of turmoil as it moves from a business that depended on its unparalleled ability to get paper books from authors into bookstores to one that is in the content delivery business and where it doesn’t enjoy any particular distribution advantage. The major publishers historically were able to choose the books that they placed in front of readers, and were really the only game in town if an author wanted to have their work read in large quantities. With the rise of e-books that advantage is going to erode, and there is enormous competition not just from books that are coming on the market outside of regular channels but from other media as well, much of it available for free.
     There’s still no real replacement for the package of services that publishers are able to bring to bear (authors of the future will still need editing, copyediting, design, etc.), but in the challenging short term landscape publishers are probably going to continue to focus on the blockbuster titles and books they think they can break out in a major way. The challenge is that they have to pay top dollar for the hottest commodities, meaning it’s tough to make money even when something does catch fire.
     But e-books are here to stay, and the next five, ten, twenty years are going to be a wild ride for everyone in the content delivery business.
    
     Could you spare some free advice for aspiring novelists? What to do... and what not to do?
     I think the most important thing is to study the craft and business of writing. Writing a novel isn’t just a matter of sitting down and letting the genius flow, it’s important to have a sense of how to craft the ups and downs of plot, avoid rookie errors, and think of character arcs and all the rest. Even if you’re writing literary fiction: it still needs to have a plot. And when you are finished it’s not just a matter of sending it out and sitting back as other people take care of the rest – it’s important to really know the business and to use that information to your advantage.
     The other main advice is to remember that the only way to write a novel is to sit down and write it and keep going even when you would rather be doing anything other than writing. Lots of people write when it’s fun and stop when it’s not, and that’s no way to finish a novel.
    
     Your debut novel, "Jacob Wonderbear and The Cosmic Space Kapow" is set to come out in 2011. Can you give us a preview?
     JACOB WONDERBAR is a middle grade novel about three kids who trade a corndog for a spaceship, blast off into space, accidentally break the universe, and have to find their way back home. They visit crazy planets, become frenemies with a space pirate, have wild adventures, and meet the king of the universe.
   
Do you see yourself continuing to write in the YA genre?
     I’m not sure what the future brings, but I’m currently writing a sequel to JACOB WONDERBAR, so that’s my world (or I guess universe) for the near future.

     How do you manage to find the time to write, blog, and be an agent?
     My hobbies have gradually fallen by the wayside and the Wii is like a Siren I have been successfully resisting for the last several years, but I love agenting, blogging, and writing more than my hobbies, so I’m happy with the tradeoff.  

     Finally, why do you hate the Lakers?
    Well, my family have been die-hard Sacramento Kings fans from the beginning, and the vile Lakers have always the Kings’ arch-rivals, especially during the 2002 Western Conference Finals when the referees stole Game 6 from the Kings in utterly blatant fashion AND NO I AM NOT OVER IT A;LSDKJF. Nothing personal though.

For more information on all things Nathan Bransford, look no further than www.nathanbransford.com. You can also find him at www.curtisbrown.com

# # #

Bobby D. Lux is the editor-in-chief of Onomatopoeia Magazine. His fiction and non-fiction has been published here and there, including several stories in FLYMF’s Greatest Hits. A sometimes actor and murder mystery dinner theater host, he’s currently hard at work on that damn novel of his.
© 2010 Bobby D. Lux, All Rights Reserved

Poetry Review - Millicent Borges Accardi's Woman on a Shaky Bridge reviewed by Jara Jones

Woman on a Shaky Bridge by Millicent Borges Accardi
Reviewed by Jara Jones

     Accardi asserts in the title of one of her poems, "This is What People Do". It's the poetry version of a street busker whipping out the chainsaws and starting to juggle. It's flashy, more than a little cocky, and it draws a crowd.
     However, once you've snapped the reader to attention, the poet has got to deliver. And for the most part, Accardi succeeds (specifically with work which effectively combines her skills in economical imagery and clear, gentle repetition). No better example of Accardi's craft can be found than in her ode "For John, For Coltrane", when she writes:

"They say he looked ten
years older than the music;
They say the music used his
his body more
than love..."

     While there are a few flat notes in her collection, Accardi's Woman on a Shaky Bridge makes good on its promise to document how "anxiety affects attraction", and is recommended for any poet who wants to see how a skilled artist can marry form with a welcome point of view.

     Woman on a Shaky Bridge was published by Finishing Line Press - www.finishinglinepress.com.

# # #

Jara Jones is the brand spanking new poetry editor for Onomatopoeia Magazine and is the sort of chap who'd stab you in the throat. With a paper clip, and a little determination. Or maybe he'll make you some pancakes. Hard to say, really. He thinks good poems should be like hand grenades: brutish, violent, and quick.
©2010 Jara Jones, All Rights Reserved

Art - A young Midwestern girl looking bored, lace curtains in window light and a silhouette of a flightless bird by Todd R. Behrendt



Todd R. Behrendt lives in the deep woods of the Adirondacks with his wife. His work has appeared in Burn Magazine, Direct Art and Interrobang Magazine. He welcomes all comers to www.trbehrendt.com.
© 2010 Todd R. Behrendt, All Rights Reserved

Photography - All the Pretty Horses by Christopher Woods



Christopher Woods is a writer, teacher and photographer who lives in Texas. He shares a gallery with his wife Linda at MOONBIRD HILL ARTS - www.moonbirdhill.exposuremanager.com.
©2010 Christopher Woods, All Rights Reserved

Poem - Death Before Factory by Anthony Liccione

Death Before Factory by Anthony Liccione

These factories
that surround my house
always burning,
with three chimneys
sticking out of each,
lining themselves up
like a locomotive,
only going nowhere--

they keep
smoking more clouds
to the sky,
more toxicity,
to a diseased-worn city.
And those inside
the belly of the sweat,
feeding a broiler that bleats
for more coal,
more steak and potatoes,
around a time clock
that speaks in different
tongues,
and spits out the same
repetitive, redundant
load of production.

The robotic workers.

Tattooed with
plastic trees and
roaming hungry eyes
behind their heads,
and on their backs
they sleep in a trailer
that never forgives them.
They wake to a mirror
that never eats with them,
only swallows them whole.

There is only need here
never want,
want would be asking
for new car, a new wife:
it is just enough
to make a paycheck
survive, live
until it bounces back
in a unpaid whine.

The same count by the hour,
the same quota
of faces that break their backs
and run overworked fingers
over the mill, punch press

sorting, spraying, capping
oiling, typing, tying;
the tedious conveyor belt
always lashing forward
like a snakes tongue.

The paper cuts, pepper
-cheese boxes,
assorted mail droppings

waiting for the whistle
to change shifts,
a pink slip–
to slip into a new life.

# # #

Anthony lives in Texas with his two children. His poems have appeared in several print and online journals, and he has four collections of poetry books.
©2010 Anthony Liccione, All Rights Reserved

Poem - 1001/1011 by Thomas Reed

1001/1011 by Thomas Reed

A bug:
little long thing, sat on an eyelash.
All about is tremulant:
the pudgy hand of a child wipes tears.

She cries, "MOM!",
who runs from across the street, not looking,
to coddle, kiss, talk sweet things:
meatloaf, mashed potatoes, apple pie,
lies about who will be there to share.

Bank tellers leave their posts;
shops left empty; cars pulling up;
all join the crowd:
people holding hands,
sharing "it-can't-be"s and "oh-my-god"s;
threats, worries, consolations; all rise,
like bleats in an abattoir,
some lambs flossy white, others greyed,
each voice lost in the flood of the whole.

A crash; a scream;
the lambs are silenced.
All tumbles:
dust, rubble, glass, steel,
desks turned to splinters.

A final crash, then calm.
Among the ruin, some find books, crushed lunchboxes,
smashed "World's Best Dad" mugs.
Unlucky lambs find bodies, or parts of bodies.

# # #

Thom Reed is a student who spends most of his time watching old cartoons and sleeping. He'd like to write an existentialist masterpiece someday, but for now he needs to pick a haircut.
©2010 Thomas Reed, All Rights Reserved

Poem - Caseworker Takes Notes by Donal Mahoney

Caseworker Takes Notes by Donal Mahoney

I was there the day
there trickled down the wall
of an old man's room one roach

that stopped across
a canyon in the plaster till
the old man's elevated slipper fell.

The roach absorbed the blow
and as though perforated for that purpose
dissolved into an archipelago.

The old man looked at me
and patiently explained, "Despite my
constant smacking of its brethren

one roach each day will trickle down that wall
and pause and pose as if to say,
'Go ahead and smack me, that's okay.' "

To take advantage of the archipelago at hand
the old man pointed toward the last palpitating island
and once again explained,

"Each roach I smack, you see,
offers me that same good-bye--
one last flicker of antennae."

# # #

Donal Mahoney lives in St. Louis, Missouri, U.S.A. He has worked as an editor for The Chicago Sun-Times, Loyola University Press and Washington University in St. Louis. He has had poems published in the U.S. and abroad in a variety of print and online publications. Recently he received word that he has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. However, the nomination is for a poem he hopes no one reads in its present state.
©2010 Donal Mahoney, All Rights Reserved

Essay - O’ War! War! O’ Elegant, Heavenly War! by BothEyesShut

“What to do for this social sickness? Depose the rich and give their stuff to the poor, á la Robin Hood? That only works in movies.”

O’ War! War! O’ Elegant, Heavenly War!
by BothEyesShut

     Reason and intelligence lead thoughtful people to reach the same conclusions when those conclusions seem most obvious, and that’s a shame.  We intellectual sorts daily nod and smile at one another, agreeing on many momentous topics of discussion, differing on only the tiniest of distinctions.  Too many discussions terminate with these knee-jerk conclusions, really, and one of these universally agreed-upon topics happens to be the matter of war.
     War, says the sage scholar, is a base, savage, corrupt, unworthy use of our time and resources.  War, he spits, defiles our dignity and pollutes our minds, denounces our integrity and poisons our innocence.  War, he decries, is hell.
     However, this perspective does not lend itself to a round, fair judgment of martial practices.  War is too ancient a human institution to be flippantly dismissed out-of-hand.  We owe too much of our bounteous, idyllic lifestyle to war for such a hasty expulsion of it.  War is too human to be deemed inhumane.
     War, the heart of so much civilization, cannot be immoral, unjust, or depraved. War is not loathsome, nor is it an abomination. War is not iniquity.
     War, in fact — is a really, really good time.
War is not hell. Come now, does this look like hell to you?
I. War Brings People Together

“[The most awesomest party ever] grows out of the barrel of a gun.”
– Mao Tse-Tung

     Nothing thrills the soul like a good explosion, except maybe a good explosion with body parts flying out of it. Rather than blowing people up solo, though, one can make the minutest bang a resounding ka-boom! by inviting one’s friends and neighbors along. An armed skirmish inspires conviviality, and any reason to hold a shin-dig is a good one.
     Many Southern Californians live in apathy of their neighbors, ignorant of their neighbors’ names, ignorant of their neighbors’ proclivities, ignorant of their neighbors altogether except for the kind of car they drive and which households make the most noise.  We repeatedly prove ourselves too proud to love, too haughty to give a heartfelt hug when we need it most. Drop a few cluster bombs on the local strip mall, though, and people cling to one another like infant monkeys.
     Never mind the block party; Mrs. Dilweed’s acclaimed potato salad isn’t going to make any friends. It’s suppression fire from a machine gun nest at the end of a suburban cul-de-sac that softens the hardest of hearts. Until cowering in a muddy shell crater with them, one never knows one’s true brothers and sisters. Camaraderie springs from warmth, and the root word of warmth is war (little known fact). This is why most ordnance produces heat, flame and conflagration, and why even cold bullets, once in merry flight, are called fire.
     Don’t stay out in the cold. Choose warmth. Choose war.
Did you see that buzzbomb clip Ralph as it whizzed by? Bang! Zoom! What a gas!
II. War Inspires Art

“The object of war is not to [party hard] for your country but to make the other bastard [party hard] for his.”
– General George S. Patton, Jr.

     What pastoral oils graced canvases during Earth’s peaceful centuries? What poetry dripped honeylike from the tongues of minstrels during the Great Pacific Period? What music resounded through the halls of humanity during the Time of Tranquility?
     Aha! But there were never any such occasions, of course. Do not be silly.
     All great art is the result of a vicious, mindless, self-consuming, bullet-tossing, bomb-fumbling world hell-bent on blending hell into every fine thing produced by man. Without the bang of guns, there would be no onomatopœia. Without the need for camouflage, there would be no paint. Without the need for morale, there would be no music, no comedy, no burlesque.
     Without war, the Beatles would have been a boy band. Without war, Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls would have been about schoolchildren dismissed for summer. Without war, Leutze’s painting of Washington crossing the Delaware, boot at the prow, would have featured that great general having his shoes shined.
     No art exists but that which came from the fertile, menstruating womb of war. What possible inspiration could there, otherwise, be? God (big G)? Please. We have a Sistine Chapel already, thank you.
  Without war, we'd not have pretty paintings like "2,000-Yard Stare," by Tom Lea
III. War Improves the Humans-to-Resources Ratio

“The death of one man is [smart shopping]. The death of millions is a [hot deal].”
– Josef Stalin, comment to Churchill at Potsdam, 1945

     Limited resources! cry the teachers of social studies. Limited resources! cry the pundits of the mass media. Limited resources! cry the politicians of every country throughout time. All these persons devoutly believe to have spotted the obvious reason for war, when all along they’ve had it backwards. War is not a battle over limited resources. War is the simple solution by which humanity divides limited resources amongst fewer peoples.
     What difference does it make if seventy percent of all the oil in the world exists in the Middle East and North Africa, if there are so few people in said world that they couldn’t possibly consume it all in seventy-seven generations? War isn’t a contest of tug-o’-war with natural resources as the prize. War is a game of musical chairs which begins with someone left standing, and ends with everyone seated comfortably.
Every human death brings humanity closer to feeding itself. The practice of warfare puts palatable provisions on everyone’s plate.
Always enough to go around when "around" is less round

IV. War Spurs Science

“You can’t say that civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way [that is consistent with the scientific method].”
- Will Rogers

     Dehydrated foods, microwave technology, and countless other advances sprang from the American war machine, yet detractors still picket and march and gripe and whine, saying, “Make love, not war!” and, “Draft beer, not people!” as though these pithy proverbs were the pinnacle of wit and political consciousness. These naysayers have conviction — one can tell by the limitless cash they spend on verbose bumper stickers for their hybrid automobiles, verbose little slogans such as, “Why do people bomb people who bomb people to show that bombing people is wrong?” and “It will be a great day when schools have all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to construct a bomber” — but their hypocrisy outshines their passion every time they stir water into their Carnation Instant Breakfast (™) or nuke their breakfast burritos for thirty seconds on High.
     War motivates our sharpest knives and brightest bulbs to design ever-more-efficient blenders in which to purée people, without which the interminable process of old-fashioned battle would positively bore the soldiers to death. Who wants a war without robotic drone fighter planes firing laser-guided ordnance while threading the needle through phased-array radar sites? Nobody, that’s who. Night vision goggles with infrared target-acquisition-sharing capability! Electromagnetic silent supersonic Gauss rifles! Nuclear submarines playing hide n’ seek beneath polar ice caps, with bionic remote-controlled spy sharks to follow them!
Let’s face it, war makes a technological wonderland out of an otherwise unremarkable world, and though it may seem somewhat more destructive, we’d all probably die of boredom without it, anyway.
The hi-tech miracles of war bring delightful conveniences into every home. Every boy and girl will want a civilian version of BigDog under the tree this Christmas!

V. War Brings the Rich and Poor Together

“When the rich wage war, it’s the poor who [benefit greatly].”
- Jean-Paul Sartre

     Of the many struggles plaguing mankind, class warfare remains one of the most deleterious. The working class has always been exploited by people with money and power, and has always outnumbered its rich slave-owners by a ratio too imbalanced to ignore. In 2006, the top one percent of the population of the United States owned more than twenty percent of the wealth. This is the same as if the rich had stolen every single possession from nineteen percent of American citizens, not to mention everything these unfortunate nineteen percent are currently earning, and everything they will earn until the day they fall over and die — until the statistic changes again, that is.
     What to do for this social sickness? Depose the rich and give their stuff to the poor, á la Robin Hood? That only works in movies. Once again we find that war, that old internecine pastime, is the answer.
The problem is not economic disparity. The crisis is that aristocrats are an alarmingly endangered species, their numbers falling faster than those of the black rhino, the giant panda, or the beluga sturgeon. In order to save this grievously assailed caste, the opposing herd must be thinned. What better use for the poor, than war? War is not only useful for inciting art, science, conservation, and brotherly love; it’s also humanity’s best method of lessening the huddled masses of impoverished paupers to match the dwindling and endangered populations of aristocrats.
     Eat your heart out, Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
Why not? Ancient Romans coined their money and forged their swords from the same metal, and in the same fire.

VI. War Spurs Philosophy

“We make war that we may live in [wine-induced philosophical contemplation].”
-Aristotle

     Humanity once needed to laze in order to store up energy for the hunt. Now that our prey comes to us through drive-thru take-out windows, we no longer require such lazing, but shaking the habit has proven too difficult for most of us and as a result, we’re lazy.
     Philosophers are no different, and in fact often constitute the laziest portion of society (armchairs redounding). For this indolence the fault falls but partially on them, however. Having explained away the meaning of life with eighteen answers to choose from (and this before even touching upon world religions) philosophers peaked rather young, and the resulting malaise keeps them from coming up with new material for our amusement on a regular basis, lazy bastards that they are.
     With the threat and promise of war, though, philosophers and thinkers from every corner of the globe clamber over one another to pose their perspectives to the world. War is detestable! say some, and War is inevitable! say others, and War is glorious! say still more, all of them having worked out valid, logical reasoning to support their point of view.
     Without war, whatever would we do for philosophy? Where would we find our bathroom reading? Like it or not, the world has war to thank for the musings of Confucius, Gandhi, Lao Tze, Kant, Martin Luther King, Jr., and the rest of the simpering peaceniks.
     No war, no philosophy.
Socrates preferred the M4A1 for its close spread at medium range
.
VII. War Holds Religions Accountable

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world [see eye-to-eye].”
- Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi

     Perhaps most importantly, war keeps the world’s major religions on their toes. Any religious leader can jaw non-stop about how one ought to live one’s life, but when hundreds of weeping mothers pour in on Sunday begging for a divine promise to bring their sons home from war unscathed, even the most wretched charlatan must turn his gaze inward and ask himself, “Do I really know what the hell I’m talking about? Do I really think there’s an ultimate source of love and wisdom and fairness who could let a war like this happen, simply because people are born imperfect and grow up stupid enough to fire projectiles at each other?”
Mark 13:7 says that wars must happen.  Judaism and Islam have been hurling grenades at one another for centuries.  Hinduism even has a goddess, Kali, dedicated to destruction, and Taoism doesn’t really care one way or the other.  It should surprise no one, therefore, that most of the people recruiting for war, speaking in favor of war, and doing the actual killing practice religion.  War benefits religions by holding them accountable, and by accomplishing the following:
     War eliminates the fighters from religious congregations, leaving only the lovers.
     War forces religious leaders to answer in detail the most treacherous, and imperative, mysteries of life.
     War allows believers to emphasize their belief in heaven by martyring themselves, an otherwise impossible task in the modern era.
     “‘There are no atheists in foxholes’ is not an argument against atheism — it’s an argument against foxholes,” says James Morrow.  Indeed, nobody wants a godless heathen in the trenches defending America.  What would that say about us here at home?
Warriors of anti-aircraft fire and theosophical debate, may your barbs fly true!

VIII. War Destroys Warfarers

“We have to face the fact that either we are going to die together or live together and if we are going to live together then we are going to have to [die together anyway].”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

     Having covered all the aforementioned benefits of war, it remains to note that even if war could be disparaged (not bloody likely) enemies of this most honorable practice would have nothing to fear, because war primarily destroys warfarers. Collateral damages aside, and the odd woman-and-child combination notwithstanding, most victims of war who die with bullets in their chests die also with guns in their hands.
War, then, is a cancer-eating cancer. Who can fear an innocuous thing like that?
Like Romeo and Juliet, war loves war, and war kills war.

IX. War Expedites Evolution

“Violence is the last refuge of the [guy who should have tried violence sooner].”
– Isaac Asimov

     The human race has war to thank for much of its enduring success and happiness, but natural selection continues. Having developed foresight, as well as a prototypical reasoning faculty, humans owe it to themselves to help speed evolution along, rather than sluggishly floating through stages of development like flotsam on a wave.
     Since evolution depends on the deaths of as many would-be parents as possible, war hurries genetic development exponentially. Millions of heroic, conscientious warmongers with an earnest desire to kill opt out of parenthood, and thereby hurry the filtration process. In addition to these purposeful patriots, millions eject themselves from the gene pool by enlisting under dubious pretenses also, including (though fortunately not limited to) the overemotional, the desperate, the directionless, the uneducated, the unassuming, the weak-willed, and the easily-convinced. With all these excellent specimens volunteering their progeny for oblivion, homo sapien version 2.0 might just be released millions of years ahead of schedule.
     One never knows which genetic mutation will prove most useful to the next line of humans, but one thing is certain: war finds those beneficial mutations quickly — much faster than waiting for rest homes to empty does.
Evolution at the speed of boom
     With so much to thank war for, how can we continue to castigate this most-precious of traditions? There’s so little the world can agree on! And yet, everyone admires the silent nobility of a rusted, burned-out tank half-hidden in tall, green grass. Everybody can appreciate the natural beauty of an antiquated minefield, the subtle majesty of barbed wire silhouetted against the sunrise, its coils spiraling along the horizon like glittering ivy.
     Why must we as a civilized people rebel against our most fundamental natures? Let us enjoin our destinies hand-in-hand, staring boldly, proudly down the rifled barrels of our mutual obliteration. Let us not come to regard our beatific invasions as clumsy mistakes, but as the measured, artful strokes of a virtuoso violinist crafting a concerto.
     There’s nothing sick or evil about death. Death, so-called, does not even truly exist except as the briefest juncture between shapes of life, a nurturing moment in the infinite infancy of existence. Let us not stay the hand of the reaper, but take up our plows and sow our seeds in preparation for Death’s gentle harvest.
     We did not invent war. We are war.
     So stand down the picket signs and snatch up the weaponry, salute the Commander In-Chief and strut stolidly to doom. Our splendor and sublimity await!

     With Much Love and Many Rockets,
     -BothEyesShut

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BothEyesShut is the author of the popular new weblog, "In a Real World, This Would Be Happening" at botheyesshut.wordpress.com. He was born in Huntington Beach, CA and is currently writing his fifth novel. He lives in Long Beach.
© 2010 BothEyesShut, All Rights Reserved

Art - Solve the Equation by Todd R. Behrendt


Todd R. Behrendt lives in the deep woods of the Adirondacks with his wife. His work has appeared in Burn Magazine, Direct Art and Interrobang Magazine. He welcomes all comers to www.trbehrendt.com.
© 2010 Todd R. Behrendt, All Rights Reserved

Book Review - Ilie Ruby's Language of Trees reviewed by Bobby D. Lux

The Language of Trees by Ilie Ruby
Reviewed by Bobby D. Lux

     In her debut novel, The Language of Trees, Ilie Ruby wastes no time grabbing her readers and immersing them into a sense of foreboding that hangs in the air like heavy fog. Her narrative is instantly inviting and her characters are as charming as they are wonderfully vulnerable.
     Among the many strengths of this work is how Ruby’s Lake Canandaigua setting leaps off the page as well-defined as you would expect any other character. Ruby, also a poet, knows this setting very well and whether it’s charting the twenty-four hour lifespan of the Mayfly on the one day a year they inhabit the lake to telling of local myths and legends, she injects the reader with an honest feeling of the region without slipping into melancholy.
     Of course, the themes of love lost and discovering a second chance in life are among the usual suspects, but Ruby’s approach to them illustrates a depth in her writing not always found in the work of debuting novelists. Ruby places her likable, headstrong, and wounded characters within in a haunting (a carefully chosen word) atmosphere where redemption is possible if you’re ready to find healing.
     The result is character-driven page-turner of a novel that’s eager to be an excellent companion on long summer days. Ruby proves herself a writer capable of crafting an engaging story of great emotional depth; a writer both eager and well-prepared to stake a claim for herself in the literary world.

The Language of Trees was published by Avon Harper Collins. You can find more information on Ilie Ruby and her work at her website, www.ilieruby.com.

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Bobby D. Lux is the editor-in-chief of Onomatopoeia Magazine.
© 2010 Bobby D. Lux, All Rights Reserved

Fiction - The Things We Keep by Liane Kupferberg Carter

“She opened what she assumed was another closet, and discovered a dressing room she didn't remember. It was full of empty tie racks and barren shoe trees.  Then she looked up, into the painted gray eyes of an oddly serious child swinging from a gate.”

The Things We Keep
by Liane Kupferberg Carter

     A week after their father Gene's funeral, Barbara and Aggie Harrell and their cousin Emma went to clean out his apartment. Barbara had not been there since a disastrous dinner with her father and his second wife Pauline three years earlier. The building had seemed elegant, but now one of the art deco letters over the awning was missing, and the chandeliered lobby smelled of last week's lamb stew. Barbara had a key that Gene's neighbor, Mrs. Milner, had pressed on her at the funeral. Her eyes had been an ugly red. "I can't go back in there, Ms. Harrell," she'd said, sounding apologetic. She was the one who had found him.
     Barbara arrived first, feeling like a guilty trespasser. The apartment seemed foreign and masculine; no trace of Pauline remained. She opened the window and stood as uncertainly as she had the last time, waiting to be invited to sit. So much furniture to give away. She had no use for it and she doubted that Aggie and her husband Jerry would want anything that they hadn't specifically chosen for the house they were building on the North Shore. Jerry had just installed voice-activated lights in every room. "What if you get laryngitis?" Barbara had said, but Jerry hadn’t been amused.
     The trick, she thought, was to work quickly, not to think. She flipped several light switches before she found the hall light, and opened the first closet she saw.  The butterscotch Lifesaver smell she had once loved so much still clung to his jackets.  The last time she'd been there, the assailing smell of Pauline's perfume had hung everywhere.
     Barbara pulled suits from the closet, feeling like a suspicious wife as she emptied the pockets of change and match books and ticket stubs.  She'd have to see that the electricity was turned off soon. Stop the mail. The phone service too, she thought, noticing an antique brass telephone on the hall table. As she folded clothes, she remembered the summer she was five, when Gene ran a string from the basement to the garage, and they had talked to each other through two tin cans.  Sometimes she would place a finger lightly on the string to feel the vibration of his words. She tried to remember the sound of his voice now, but only heard it dimly, as it was that still summer, whispering metallic promises in her ear.  They had started this game after Barbara saw a movie about Alexander Graham Bell, and she liked to imagine that her father was Don Ameche. "Watson, come here, I need you," he would say. "Watson here. I need you," she would answer, and he would run and catch her in his arms. He applauded when she fearlessly climbed ladders,  or held back tears after falling into a bee's nest. She had been his first born, much photographed, petted and praised. But slowly, subtly, that had changed. The winter she was twelve, Pegasus had been hit by a car. She had carried him to the side of the road, covered him with a blanket, and called the vet. Her father drove them to the animal hospital, braking and accelerating wildly. The dog had been in bad shape. “There’s nothing more I can do,” the vet had said. “I’m so sorry. Would one of you like to stay with him?” Her father had hesitated, and in that moment, Barbara had spoken. “I’ll do it,” she said, following the vet into a room without any windows. She held Pegasus in her arms, murmuring into his puzzled, cloudy eyes. The needle slid between sinewy folds; the dog quivered, then slumped warm and heavy against her chest.
     “You are your mother’s child,” her father had said in the car going home, almost as if he were speaking to himself.  She’d kept silent, sensing even then it was a double-edged compliment. She had seen how he’d begun to wince at her mother Eleanor's brisk voice. One summer evening months earlier, they had barbecued swordfish and eaten supper on the back patio. “Can’t you just leave that grill alone? I said I’d get to it later,” Gene had said, watching Eleanor vigorously vacuuming out ashes. He tipped back on the legs of his chair, staring moodily into the neighboring yard.
     “Gene, you’ll break the chair that way,” her mother had said. Her father brought the chair down hard and flung himself out of it. Later that night, after Barbara had dragged the furniture back to the porch, she sat to watch the fireflies make darting pinpoints of cold light, listening vainly for the sound of his returning car.
     The doorbell chimed. Aggie was wearing a sleek black silk suit and pearls, looking beautiful and unhappy as only she could, wearing her suffering, thought Barbara, like a prize ribbon. Their cousin Emma stood behind her.
     "You'd think Mrs. Milner could have managed to at least wipe up," said Aggie, running a proprietary hand over a bureau top.
     "It wasn't her place. If you don't want to clean, why don't you pack up the rest of the clothes?" Barbara said, thrusting an armful of shopping bags at her.
     "Aggie told me on the way up that she visited here several times after Pauline left," said Emma a little later, as they opened cartons they'd found piled neatly against the front window.
     "Look! Your old school essays." Her legs slid gracefully under her. "Imagine saving these. Okay, how do you spell vicissitude?"
     "That's what dictionaries are for."
     "You never needed them, though," Emma said.  "I'll bet you were a tough act for Aggie to follow in school.  She once told me she always felt like Barbara Harrell's underachieving sister."
     "I didn't know that," said Barbara.  "I always felt like Agatha Harrell's plain one."
     "Give it a rest already. Besides, it’s not even true. You've got character."
     "That sounds like something my mother would have said,” Barbara said. “One time when I was thirteen, she took me to buy bras. Not that I needed them. She followed me into the dressing room and watched me try on every damn one. Afterwards, as we were driving home, I said, 'Mom, I'm ugly.' You know what she said?  'Don't worry, dear, it's just a stage.'" Barbara and Emma laughed.
     "What's so funny out here?" Aggie said plaintively. She piled bags full of shirts and socks in the hall, and watched them uncertainly. "Haven't you even finished one box yet? We haven't got all day."
     "Is Jerry picking you up?" Barbara said.
     "He's playing racquet ball."
     Aggie’s husband had recently joined a trendy new health club popular with masters of the universe types and models. Barbara wondered how he was managing it all.  But he didn't want Aggie to work, and she was flitting between decorating the new house and taking classes in designing what she referred to as “tablescapes.”
     "Well, anyway, I'm done," Aggie said.   Her mouth twitched, and Barbara thought, it was a mistake to let her go into that room alone.
     "How about if I make some coffee?" Barbara said. “We can't remove anything until the appraisal, but why don’t you make a list of what you’d like to keep?"
     Barbara returned with a tray; Aggie sipped the coffee warily and made a face. "It tastes like mouthwash."
     "It's cinnamon blend. Sorry. It's all I could find.”
     "And it's stale," Aggie said accusingly.
     "It was probably left over from Pauline. Dad only drank espresso."
     "I always thought your father was the most cosmopolitan man I ever met," said Emma. "You know, I even had a little crush on him once."
     "I know," said Barbara. "So did most of his students.  Sometimes I think that if he’d died young, he would never have had to shrink to life size."
     "Well, you made that wish come true," said Aggie. "Maybe if you had let Mom take him back, this wouldn't have happened."
     "He told you that?" Barbara said. "Oh, Aggie. Do you really believe I would have done that?"
     "Dad blamed you," Aggie said.
     "Dad always blamed anyone but himself."
     "Look!" said Emma, trying to deflect the sisters. She held aloft a thick stack of black and white photos that looked as if they'd been trimmed with pinking shears.
     Aggie looked longingly at a picture of herself in the ocean, sitting astride her father's sunburned shoulders. "Remember the cottage in Maine that didn't have any phone or TV? Daddy and I went sailing alone every morning and we dug for clams. He even found a pearl in an oyster for me. It was the happiest summer of my life." 
     He must have planted the pearl there, Barbara realized. He’d done the same conjuring trick for her once, before Aggie was even born. "Don't you remember the swarms of black flies? There was a crust of them on the outhouse door,” Barbara said.  “And no running water inside. We had to take the dishes outside and hose them down. Mom hated every minute there."
     "Then she should have made more of an effort."
     Barbara sucked in her lips to keep from speaking. She hated it when Aggie criticized Eleanor. What did she know? After her initial grief at Gene's departure, Eleanor had refused to speak about him. Barbara had often wished she could have siphoned off some of Eleanor's sorrow, taken it and embraced it as her own to spare her mother. After Eleanor's surgery, Barbara had bathed her mother, soothed her, cooked delicate broths and hearty stews, and nursed her mother as tenderly at the end as Eleanor had once nursed her. Gene had pleaded with Barbara to convince her mother to let him come home, but Eleanor was adamant: she had suffered enough.       
     "What's this?" Aggie said, studying a photograph of eerie light swirls.       
     "It looks like an abstract painting," said Emma.
     "No," Barbara said softly. "Don’t you remember? It was the Aurora Borealis." The year Barbara was nine, they had spent Christmas week at their grandmother’s compound in Vermont. One night, Gene rushed into their room to wake them.  They had wrapped quilts around themselves like cocoons, and crept out to the field across the road.  Barbara remembered it had been very cold, but clear, the darkest night of the year. Eleanor was waiting for them.  Pulsing bands of yellow-white light arched across the sky in luminous fans, as the four of them stood in awed silence.  "They call them the Merry Dancers," Gene had whispered.  "Aurora Borealis...The Northern Lights."
     "He always loved the planetarium," said Aggie.
     "I remember how your father always used to point out the constellations to us on summer nights," Emma said. "Such beautiful names.  Cassiopeia... Andromeda.... Your mother loved those stories."
     "Mom?" said Aggie.
     "Oh, sure," Emma said.  "She loved those old myths. Old movies too. She once told me that when she was a girl she slept on collar buttons for six months because she thought it would give her dimples like Margaret O'Brien.  And that later she used to wash her hair with cherry soda so it would be the color of Rita Hayworth's."
     "It's nice to think of her that young," said Barbara.  It sounded like something Aggie might have done.   As a teenager, Aggie had steamed her face with chamomile, made masks of oatmeal, applied cucumber compresses to her eyelids, pumiced her feet,  even slept on her back so her face wouldn't wrinkle. The sisters were so unalike that strangers never believed they were related.   Aggie's face was punctuated by dimples--and not from collar buttons--that made pleasing secrets when she smiled. Growing up next to her, Barbara had felt monotonously untextured. There was a world of difference between plain and ugly; sometimes, Barbara had almost longed for ugly.  At least it gave definition. Aggie was beautiful, and Barbara had learned early that beauty confers power.
     "Speaking of cherry soda..." said Emma.
     "I'll see if I can scrape up lunch."
     Barbara  rummaged in the cupboard. Not much to choose from.  Tins of anchovies. Jars of macadamia nuts. She opened a can of salmon, thinking about all the Sundays a long time ago, when Emma and her parents came to visit. Barbara and her father would drive to Lox, Stock and Barrel, where all the fathers waited on line clutching slips of papers with numbers.  When they got home he would slice tiny bagels and line them with  dollops of cream cheese and slivers of fish, making sandwiches no larger than his little finger for Barbara and Emma to nibble as they squatted over the comics spread along the floor.
     Barbara emptied the refrigerator of sour milk and rust-edged lettuce, sliced an onion to add to the plate, but when she reached for a wrinkled tomato, her fingernails slid through the soft red skin.
     Aggie had set the dining table with lace placemats and had folded linen napkins to look like fluttering birds.  It felt oddly festive.  Emma picked up a plate. “What are you going to do with all the kitchen stuff?"
     "There’s very little here,” Aggie said. “He didn’t take much when he left. He said he needed to make a clean break."
     "Breaks are never clean," said Barbara, buttering the toast and crumbling it into little pieces.
     "I think he was ashamed,”  said Aggie.
     "Of what?” said Barbara. “That his latest girlfriend wasn't much older than his daughters? Oh, don't look so shocked. You think Pauline was the only one? Grandma’s money just made it easier for him."
     "Stop," said Emma. "Please stop."
     "Who are you to sneer at Grandma's money?" said Aggie. "What do you think paid for summer vacations? Or school?" she crammed half a sandwich into her mouth.
     "All that money doesn't seem to have improved your table manners."
     "Enough." Emma slammed her fist against the table; the china clattered. "Don't you realize your parents are gone? All you have is each other."
     "We're  orphans," said Aggie, beginning to cry.
     It sounded so Dickensian, thought Barbara.

     After lunch Emma took the bags of clothes to the homeless men's shelter.  Aggie stood at the window, pinching buds on a blanched coleus plant. "This was purple when I gave it to him," she said. She twisted off her diamond wedding band and stared at the band of pale skin. "Jerry wants to start a family."
     Barbara sat beside her on the window seat and watched her play with her charm bracelet.
     "What do you want?" Barbara asked gently.
     Aggie shrugged.  She would have looked petulant if she weren't so clearly unhappy.  "Does it even matter?" she said. She walked to the piano, and lightly touched the keys. "Dad didn't play," she said. "I wonder why he even had a piano."
     "Maybe it was for Pauline."
     "No," said Aggie. "She wasn't musical."
     "Pauline wasn't much of anything," said Barbara.  "It wouldn't have killed her to come to the funeral."  After Barbara had called Pauline with the news, she'd stayed up all night, unable to write any words she could bring herself to read at the service the next day.  Finally, she had chosen a poem.  "'And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light.'"  But he hadn't; Barbara was left to rage for him.
     She sat at the piano bench, picking out a series of chords.  She had loved listening to her mother play.  Eleanor had taught herself, and played not very well, but with great feeling.  She had often played "Someone to Watch over Me" when Barbara was young.  For years, Barbara had thought her mother had written that song, until the day she heard it on the radio.  That was after her father had run off with Pauline.  Eleanor had never touched the piano again.
     Barbara had been 24 when Pauline moved into house next door to her family. A tall, graceless woman, with frizzy brown hair and a helpless air that for reasons Barbara would never know had appealed to her father. Aggie had been away at school that year.   Pauline had asked Gene to fix things about her house, and to thank him had plied him with cool drinks and warm looks. One summer evening at twilight Barbara had gone out to cut Ophelia roses, and across the honeysuckled-scented garden she had caught a glimpse of a bare, tanned shoulder, and on it, her father’s long, fine fingers. The intimate laughter floated across the stone patio as she snipped creamy pink flowers and dropped them on the warm, damp earth. The scent of roses has sickened her ever since. Friends sent floral arrangements to Gene’s funeral, but Barbara told the delivery boy to take them to a hospital instead. “Do for the living, not the dead,” Eleanor used to say. After Gene left, he was dead to Eleanor.
     "You saw a lot of them here?" Barbara said.
     "Not a lot." Aggie looked up; she was examining an ashtray made of glazed clay and pebbles.  "I saw him mostly after Pauline left.  Remember this?" she held out the misshapen ashtray.
     Barbara  remembered.  She'd made it in day camp, choosing only the palest blue pebbles she could find to match her father’s eyes.  She nodded. "I made that when I was six."
     "No you didn't!" Aggie's eyes got round as she shook her head. "I made it. In kindergarten. Dad said so."
     Barbara was suddenly very tired.  "It's too hot in here," she said, yanking at the window.  Soot blew across the sill. She went to the bathroom to wash her hands, and looked for aspirin.  Wedged between the grimy, abandoned tubes of Pauline's cosmetics were more bottles of  prescription pills than she cared to count.   A frayed negligee hung on a peg behind the door.  She sat on the lid of the toilet, and ran her hands over and over her cheeks.
     She  heard Emma return, and the muffled sounds of conversation. "How could he do this to me?" she heard Aggie say.  Barbara rose and stood in the doorway of the bathroom, carefully wiping her hands on a towel. "Aggie," she said slowly, "do you think no one else is grieving?"
     "Barbara," Emma said warningly.
     "She acts as if she had a private monopoly on him.”
     "You’re both rubbed raw," Emma said. "Let's just finish and get out."
     Everyone was silent.
     "I know!" said Aggie. "Before we leave, let’s each choose just one thing.  Something significant."
     Aggie always did like romantic gestures, thought Barbara. She remembered when Aggie was sixteen, and thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world that Lord Byron had kept the cremated heart of his best friend Shelley.  "It just refused to burn, Barb," she'd said, her eyes large.  "Too much spirit."
     Barbara nodded. "Why not?" she said. She returned to the bedroom, and stripped the king size bed. The room looked as impersonal and reassuring as a motel room.  Anywhere, U.S.A. No Gideon’s Bible, though; just Gene's yellowed copy of The Portable Thomas Wolfe.
     She opened what she assumed was another  closet, and discovered a dressing room she didn't remember. It was full of empty tie racks and barren shoe trees.  Then she looked up, into the painted gray eyes of an oddly serious child swinging from a gate.  A small watercolor, it had been painted in a burst of friendship one summer in Truro by a fellow artist who had seemed quite taken with Gene's older daughter.  "But he's your friend, Daddy," Barbara had said.  "Why doesn't he paint your picture?"  She remembered how she had squirmed, the straps of her sun dress scratching her burned skin.  Gene had smoothed her hair, tucking it behind her ears.
     "You're much prettier than I am," he said, then rubbed his stubbly cheek against hers.  "This way you'll always stay my own little girl," he'd said, in a tone infinitely sad.
     She turned and took in the bedroom. Where were all his canvases? She knew he'd let go the studio space he'd rented; where could everything be?  Had he sold them all?  She wondered yet again what he had done that last day.
     "Barb?" Emma stood in the doorway.
     "Leaving?"
     "In a minute.  Don't be too hard on your sister. She’s not like you."
     "You know the saying. ‘If you can't be rotten to your family, who can you?’ Sorry. Poor joke. You're absolutely right."  She followed Emma to the foyer.
     Aggie was peering into the mirror, meticulously painting on  lipstick with a small brush, much the same way she used to work in a water coloring book.  Barbara and Emma smiled at each other.
     "Thanks for coming," Barbara  said to Emma, and hugged her. "Talk to you later?"  Aggie placed her cheek against her sister's.
     "Aggie," Barbara said. "Why don't we go up to Vermont for a long weekend? Just us.”
     Aggie hesitated, glanced at Emma, then back at Barbara.  "That might be nice," she allowed.
     Barbara closed the door, then walked through the apartment, closing windows, turning off the refrigerator and leaving it ajar. The pebble ashtray was gone; let Aggie keep it.  She  switched off lights, then returned to the dressing room to stand silently.  Gently she lifted the watercolor of herself from the wall, leaving a ghostly outline where it had hung, and wrapped it in an old pillowcase.
     Finally, at the front door, she turned and reached under the table, pulled the phone cord from the wall, and straightened slowly, cradling the silent receiver against her ear. "Watson," she whispered. "I'm here."

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Liane Kupferberg Carter’s articles and essays have appeared in more than 30 publications, including the New York Times, the Huffington Post, Parents, Child, McCall’s, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Skirt, and numerous newspapers and journals. She is a 2009 winner of the Memoir Journal Prize for Memoir in Prose, and a Glimmer Train Finalist in Poetry. Carter is working on a memoir about raising a child with autism.
© 2010 Liane Kupferberg Carter, All Rights Reserved

Fiction - Darkness and Storm by Barrie Darke


“We lingered in the courtyard, tipping our heads towards the characters we knew. Lady Macbeth had little time for more than a brief greeting, and some fulsome thanks, but we made her eyes glitter with excitement.”

Darkness and Storm
by Barrie Darke

WE WERE LADY Macbeth’s favourite band. At one time, that was an upstanding thing to be. We shrugged about it, of course, between ourselves and when others were looking on, but it couldn’t be denied that the Macbeths had a biting glamour to them, in those days. In the main, that was thanks to her. We were called In Core of Nerve, and we were Manchester men.
     Large events have their own banners of good luck questing before them. We were in Scotland when her messenger, a whippet of a lad familiar to us even from his silhouette in a tavern door, found us one idle afternoon. We met him with good natured groans and insults to both his paternity and his masculinity, though nothing he hadn’t heard from us previously. He passed on his Lady’s request - could we travel to Inverness and play for her, tonight? And not only for her: for the King? And not only play: but be the main attraction?
     It was, in fact, one of our few nights off. We were young and excitable, but our music was serious and draining for all of us, though worst for our singer, Dan the Whirler. It was not beyond us to refuse this request, and be respected by her for it, so we sent the messenger outside into the native drizzle while we passed it around. Lance, our drummer, said we should instead play a small concert, perhaps a free one – let Inverness come to us. Jason, our guitarist, said being at the beck and call of warriors and Royalty was not what he thought our music should be about. I said, to fuck with them all. Our nights off were inviolate.
     What distinguished Dan the Whirler from other men, I consider, is that he knew more of what it is to live your life unhappy. It was sunk into him deeper than most. Things that old men may feel, with their best behind them, he felt with his best still ahead of him or happening to him now. Every grain of the sandstorm stung him. For that reason, he was able to pinpoint the experiences that would make things mildly worthwhile, that others of us would have missed. He said, ‘Boys, it will be a fine idea to see the centre of things for once. I say, let’s head over.’
     The messenger was called back in, his King insulted. We laughed at his fallen face, and then ordered him to lead the way.
     We are not as morose as our sound and our reputation suggests, and the trek to Inverness was strewn with jokes and pranks on the head of the messenger. Our spirits were skipping at the prospect of playing our music to people who might not ordinarily have heard it, whether they be the saddest serving girl or the King. It had a great uncoiling force in those circumstances.
     They knew us at the Macbeths’ castle, and we were the last to arrive before the King himself, which pleased us mightily. We lingered in the courtyard, tipping our heads towards the characters we knew. Lady Macbeth had little time for more than a brief greeting, and some fulsome thanks, but we made her eyes glitter with excitement.
     Dan the Whirler said to her, ‘Is this wisdom, my Lady, we Manchester men set before the great King of Scotland?’
     She said, ‘The King will take what’s offered.’ She left us smiling. We couldn’t fail to appreciate a woman with such steel in her.
     The other, homegrown musicians were also assembled in the courtyard, and were tight-faced because of their rightful place in the night’s line-up. It was difficult for us not to laugh, so we did laugh. Some of them we knew, and could parley banter with, although they seemed not to enjoy it as much as they customarily did. There were other bands that we didn’t know, though they knew of us and believed this was their propitious moment to sweep us to one side. Since we were in a warrior’s castle, it was correct for me to offer to lop off a few heads, though it didn’t have to be taken that far.
     The King arrived. It was impossible for us not to feign boredom in the eye line of our rivals. The King of Scotland was, to a Manchester man, at the level of a town hall clerk. In fact, he was as impressive as these people usually are – sturdy at first sight and diminishing thereafter. A white beard belongs to the world, after all, and can be sported by anyone. Lady Macbeth greeted him with a hand, and they exchanged words in their impenetrable accents. Into the castle we followed behind, making sure of course that we were at the head of all the musicians.
     We were not introduced to the King, that would come afterwards if he was pleased to do so, but we were brought before his two sons. These were fans – gabbling then tongue-tied, staring then darting their eyes away, asking Dan the Whirler about certain lines from the songs (and seeming satisfied when he said he didn’t know where they came from), and finally taking on the glacial cool that comes from knowing that, whatever else happens to them in their life, they will always have met us.
     Then the feast entered the first of its many hours. Serving girls carried platters, their muscles shivering with strain, and the noise level of the Thanes, as I believed they called them, suggested they were instantly intoxicated. Well, life is harder the further north a man gets.
     It wasn’t our habit to drink overmuch before playing, or to mingle with others. Lady Macbeth knew this, and had given us a far off table, where we could sit with our own observations. Not that we passed many words around our table. That form of communication is a waste, compared with what would come.
     The lesser bands played their songs to an indifference that seemed to be almost career-ending for them. Their melodies were pleasing only, had nothing eternal captured in them, and their playing was tentative, over-practised, without heat or the threat of collapse. Lance, Jason and myself were automatically disdainful of them, though Dan the Whirler as usual stared off, absorbing some essence from them, as he put it. Occasionally this was useful to him, though we couldn’t fathom how. And he broke out of it when Lady Macbeth sat with us.
     She was an attractive woman, without being pretty. A hard and slightly too long face, and so thin that you had to believe her bones were almost breaking through. Even asleep, we surmised, she would look feverish, and during the act of love she would likely choke a man. Dan the Whirler always used to say that the absolute jet black of her hair was gorgeous, but scary in a way that no-one else’s ever was, as if it would be black even when she was ancient, even when it was still growing in the grave, and don’t even begin to ask him about her eyes, which were purple if they were anything. For myself, I liked her cheekbones. I liked nothing more than a cruel cheekbone. What made her attractive was the idea that she was unshockable, but you weren’t, really.
     ‘I apologise,’ she said, ‘for taking you away from your night off.’  
     We said that was nothing to worry about – no one else but her could’ve done it.
     ‘And what form of bad behaviour have you been indulging in on your tour?’ The smile she gave there was the unshockable one.
     We demurred. Our bad behaviour was not widespread, but there was enough of it for us to keep our counsel in good company.
     Her smile told us she knew that. ‘The King’s retinue,’ she said, ‘will provide opportunities no doubt.’
     We demurred again. We had a form of loyalty to her serving girls. We remembered their names.
     Then her voice became tighter. She didn’t look anything like vulnerable, she wouldn’t be capable of that on her deathbed, but she did betray a heavy effort when she said, ‘I have one more request of you, gentlemen.’
     ‘And what’s that?’ Dan the Whirler asked.
     She left a necessary pause. ‘I would like to hear Darkness and Storm,’ she said. 

     We all had the power of veto. That was how In Core of Nerve operated - if one of us had an objection, it would carry all before it. That was true in all matters apart from the playing of Darkness and Storm. It was only right that Dan the Whirler made that decision. That said, the song began with me playing a circular riff, and if I didn’t do that, nothing happened. So I wasn’t without influence.
     He was staring off again, though probably not listening to the music this time. Lady Macbeth took a short dance with the King, to some inoffensive music. People could dance to our music, but not in that way. There was no doubt she knew what she was asking of us – she would have heard of it happening, had she not seen it herself. Perhaps she just wished for a dramatic night, or the most dramatic night. It was a shame it had to be at a cost to us.
     I left the hall, returned to the courtyard. There were two friendly dalmations out there who knew me of old and were straining to see me, but I expected my mood would upset them, so I kept apart. I had to hear their pitiful mewling instead.
     The sky was, of course, dark and stormy – but this was Scotland, so I saw no omen in that. Some of the serving girls, idle between courses, came out to talk when they saw me, Arabella and Ingrid, but I was able to plead artistic distraction and be kindly left alone.
     I tried to make myself feel what he could be feeling. It had to be admitted that he wasn’t a man to shy away from drama himself, like perhaps many a front man. I conjured the excitement, the risk and fear. I could get some of it, but most of what I got was a homesickness that made me stop all such thoughts before I joined the dogs in weeping. I returned to the hall, to our table. They were all looking at me.
     Dan the Whirler said, ‘Johnny, I’m happy with playing it. We haven’t done it for many a show now, we can’t let it die of neglect. And I can see it will suit the atmosphere of the night, or drag it along with us. It’s the power of it, Johnny. If you can resist that …’
     ‘If it’s drama you wish for, Dan the Whirler, we’ll decide when the moment comes.’
     He laughed a little at that. Lance and Jason looked unhappy, but that was the decision.
     A youngster, someone’s effete son, sang to the King. It may even have been his own composition, so feeble was it. There were the first of many toasts, lead by the warrior king of the castle, the lucky husband – a very rough hewn man, if that needs to be said. It was the wrong atmosphere for us, but Lady Macbeth had thought of that. They brought the bear out and killed it. 
     We moved backstage during the worst of that, the howls that hit the head and the roars that shivered the feet. We spoke not a word backstage, and didn’t even look at each other. Mostly we looked into space, drew pictures in the imagined flying blood. When the agonies reached a peak, a steward came for us. There was no banter with this one.
     Lady Macbeth was on stage to introduce us. She did so by saying we were the best band she knew of. We couldn’t help but feel a little pride when that was said. It got the King smiling indulgently anyway.
     We started, as we had ever since we wrote it, with Nothing Wounded Goes Uphill. This has a long instrumental introduction, during which Dan the Whirler stayed back near the drums, readying himself, only whirling occasionally. Then just as the audience were hypnotised, he darted forward to sing. Even people who knew it was coming – even Lady Macbeth – felt a whipcord through them at that. When it finished, we got a bigger cheer than the other bands had after their whole performance.
     Our music was primitive in most ways, but so was our skill at playing, so we still needed to keep our heads down, our eyes on our instruments. But it wasn’t every night that we had a King watching us, even a foreign King. We all flicked looks at him during the next song, Circle Their Names, which was a simple thrasher from our earliest days, when we were called Cave-Born Bastards. We liked to drag them into raucous states early on in the show, and Dan’s whirling was almost at its most extreme. It might not have been the song to win over the King, but he paid us close attention, and his two sons were clearly delighted with it. We followed it with our slowest song, A Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth.
     It was during that one that the atmosphere started to come right, and the other musicians watching us had to concede defeat. Often we missed the magic of that song – we only kept it in because when we got it right, it was a highlight. It should be said here that Jason was our best musician, and that night he added notes to that song that pushed against the subdued melody, things we had never heard him do before, and it remade the whole tune. It gave it a more pained weight, but a beauty that made it all worthwhile – a beauty that made you want the pain, even. It opened up wounds in everyone. Even big Macbeth himself, I noticed, was looking into himself during that one, looked suddenly more dishevelled.
     An Elementary Blunder, one of my own favourites, and one I had a lot of input on, came along next. It had slow verses and roused choruses. Not something we claimed to’ve originated, but we did it peerlessly. No one could build up to a crescendo the way we did, and Dan’s whirling made the spectacle something that would be talked about for decades. The King’s sons were bug-eyed and sweating during it, and Lady Macbeth had moved down to the front, red slammed into her cheeks.
     Without a pause we went into The Wind, It Is Shrieking, which had a sad but sweet-toothed melody, somehow brought out even more by the aggression we played it with. There wasn’t anyone there who could think about anything other than what we were doing, no matter their problems or their obsessions. It didn’t work that way for us up there, though - our thoughts were eaten up. It was after this song that, if we were going to do it, we did Darkness and Storm.

     There need be no mystery about it. Like the majority of men and women, we did things because to miss the chance of doing them would be unbearable. So I started that circular riff, and the whole castle moved about three feet into the air. Lady Macbeth looked as though she was close to fainting, but I couldn’t give her much attention. All that had to fall on Dan the Whirler.
     We could never pinpoint what it was about that song. It was, for us, a traditional arrangement of verse-chorus, no extended instrumental passages, just a steady build in intensity. Dark flecks came off it, that’s the best way of describing it. A tower that rose and shook. Dan said once it was like a song that comes through every few hundred years, then is forgotten till it’s written again - something the world needs and will always have. It was our good fortune that, at that time, we had it. We wondered if it exacted a price from all those others who’d played it.
     It didn’t happen every time, but it happened enough, and we all knew it would happen that night. Towards the end, Dan whirls as he sings, the words break from the verse and chorus structure, and more of them tumble out, so they have to be sung faster. We all watched him, though we couldn’t ever be certain it was on its way. We only knew when it arrived. His glare into the crowd becomes a glare through them into Christ knows what, and some of the strain floods from his face. All at once, the whirling is less graceful and not so controlled. Then his legs betray him and he falls. We stop playing, but I’m not being an artistic person when I say that the song carries on by itself for a few seconds.
     We dragged him backstage. He was shaking and we usually took a few bruises from his feet and elbows. He was talking gibberish – Lance used to believe he was saying the lyrics backwards, but that couldn’t be checked. We laid him down like usual, made sure he didn’t choke, and hoped it wouldn’t take him away forever.
     We didn’t allow anyone but us to see him that way, and that had to include Lady Macbeth and her husband when they came rushing through. We tried to thank them for their concern and bundle them back out, but it was difficult. They weren’t showing any concern.
     She crouched down by him. ‘What are they saying to you?’ she wanted to know. So she was a believer in that idea of it.
     ‘What do they want us to know?’ she said, spitting the words into his shivering face. She looked like she might die from a lack of that information. Even Macbeth, who I wouldn’t have thought took much interest in that, looked young again as he leaned over Dan’s body.
     ‘Please, can you leave us?’ I said to them. ‘He needs us, no-one else.’
     She was touching him now. ‘They’ve come tonight for a reason,’ she said. ‘What are they saying we should do?’
     ‘Fucking get out,’ I said. ‘Leave us.’
     ‘Be quiet,’ she snapped, not even looking back at me.
     She shook him. I grabbed her arm. She yelled something at me, just a noise, and that got him involved. I hardly saw him move, and then I was breathless against a wall, one of his hands covering most of my chest. His face was still youthful, as though he wasn’t interested in this necessary piece of violence, it was a simple small step that had to be taken. My head bouncing off the walls.

     They let us back in after ten minutes, which was when they left, without a glance at us. Dan was sitting up, wiping his face countless times, trying to do something with his hair, drinking water. He gave us a weak smile, but didn’t say much.
     ‘What did those two want to know?’ I asked him after a while.
     ‘Easy stuff. If they’d be happy in the future,’ he said.
     ‘Will they?’
     He shrugged. ‘I told them the chances are against it.’
     I was in favour of leaving the castle, leaving the whole primitive country even, but Dan wasn’t in any rightful condition to travel, especially not through that wild night. (Later they said that horses had eaten each other that night.) I thought we should at least seclude ourselves, have no dealings with anyone, but then some of the King’s retinue came in to see how Dan was, and they brought ale with them. The serving girls joined us soon after. Our nerves needed to be calmed, they said.
     None of it worked for me, though I tried, I tried. Soon I was out in the courtyard, the wind in my face, and the highland creatures making their woeful calls to the clouds. I had women on either side of me, and tankard after tankard was emptied, but all there was in me was that homesickness feeling, rearranging everything in my chest.

# # # 

     Barrie Darke lives in Newcastle in the northeast of England. He has had several plays performed in the UK over the last few years, has recently worked with the BBC, and has seen a handful of his short stories published. He is also trying extremely hard to be a published novelist. He teaches Creative Writing, as much as possible, within a few miles of his home. 
© 2010 Barrie Darke, All Rights Reserved